Ditch the plastic-wrapped grocery store blooms — here’s your Valentine’s Day flower advice. 💐
That one line pretty much sums up the shift many people are making this year: moving away from last-minute, checkbox gifts and toward gestures that actually mean something.
One of the most memorable gifts Alyse Dermer, founder of luxury gift concierge service Mr. Considerate, ever received wasn’t flashy or impulsive. Early in her relationship with her now-husband, the two were traveling together and wandered into a small shop. She tried on a bracelet she loved, admired it for a moment, then put it back. Practicality won. She walked away.
Weeks later, completely unbeknownst to her, he returned to that same shop. He worked with the salesperson, described the moment, and figured out exactly which bracelet she had loved. That was the one he gave her.
What made the gift unforgettable wasn’t the price or even the bracelet itself. It was the attention. He noticed. He remembered. He followed through.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, Dermer now helps clients—mostly men shopping for female partners—figure out how to give gifts that feel personal, not panic-driven. Thoughtfulness takes effort, she says, but it’s far from impossible.
“The best gifts say, ‘I hear you. I see you. I appreciate you,’” she explains.
Skip the “It” Bag—Solve a Real Problem Instead
Designer bags and luxury logos aren’t guaranteed wins. According to Dermer, the most successful gifts usually come from observation, not trends.
Before shopping, she advises clients to pause and really look at their partner’s life. What stage are they in? What do they complain about? What do they use every day?
A lacy lingerie set for someone three weeks postpartum? Probably not reading the room. But a beautifully designed bag that’s lighter, more supportive, and easier to carry for a daily commute? That shows awareness.
One client realized his wife had seven weddings coming up in a single year. Instead of something trendy, he gifted an elegant evening clutch she could use again and again. Another noticed his partner constantly complaining about shoulder pain from a heavy work bag—and replaced it with a stylish, ergonomic alternative.
The sweet spot is something your partner will use regularly, might not buy for themselves, and instantly recognize as “you really thought about me.”
Useful, Not Boring: Finding the Balance
There is such a thing as being too practical. A toaster, for example, may technically be useful—but it rarely feels romantic.
According to Julian Givi, associate professor of marketing at West Virginia University, Valentine’s Day is about indulgence and care. The gift should feel like a treat, even if it’s something practical.
Price, surprisingly, matters less than people think. Evan Polman of the Wisconsin School of Business notes that once a gift meets reasonable expectations, recipients care far more about the intention than the amount spent.
Think “upgrades with warmth.” A soft cashmere scarf during a brutal winter. A luxurious pajama set. Something cozy, comforting, and just a little indulgent. Choosing festive colors or thoughtful details can make even a simple item feel special.
Experiences Last Longer Than Things
While most people default to physical gifts, experiences tend to create longer-lasting happiness.
Concert tickets to see a favorite artist. A couple’s massage. A cooking class you take together. These gifts don’t just sit on a shelf—they turn into shared memories.
The goal of Valentine’s Day gifting, Polman explains, is relationship maintenance. Experiences naturally encourage quality time and emotional connection.
Even if you do want something tangible to wrap, pairing it with an experience elevates it. New aprons alongside a cooking class. Gloves that hint at a planned winter hike. A bottle of wine that comes with a promise of a picnic.
That combination tells a story—and stories stick.
Instead of Last-Minute Roses, Write Something Real
Every year, Givi notices the same scene: people frantically combing grocery store shelves the night before Valentine’s Day, grabbing whatever roses or chocolates remain.
There’s nothing wrong with classics. But when they’re clearly last-minute, they can unintentionally signal obligation instead of affection.
Presentation matters. Remove the plastic wrap from store-bought flowers. Put them in a vase if you can. Transfer chocolates into a jar or box that feels intentional.
And if you want maximum impact? Sit down and write a card. Not a rushed sentence—but something honest.
Sometimes love is shown through money. Sometimes through time. And sometimes, Givi says, words do the heavy lifting better than anything else.
Start Planning Earlier—Even for Next Year
If a gift misses the mark, don’t panic. Just start paying attention.
Your partner is constantly dropping hints—sometimes deliberately, sometimes without realizing it. A passing comment. A complaint. A moment of admiration.
Keep a note. Save the clues. Thoughtful gifts rarely come from inspiration at the last second—they come from listening over time.
And when next Valentine’s Day rolls around, you won’t be scrambling. You’ll already know exactly what matters. 💝
